Marriage: Work in Progress

It has been an emotional rollercoaster for me lately. I still struggle with Chad's very hectic schedule. This time in our lives is a test of my faith as well as a test of my patience.

My patience bottomed out Saturday evening and Chad and I had a very lengthy conversation which lead to both of us setting aside all our normal activities after the kids went to bed and we secluded ourselves in our master suite for the night. It was a much needed time of conversation and intimacy. Of listening to the sound of the ocean while relaxing in a bath. Of remembering what life is like without responding to email, working on church activities, doing homework, or just puttering on the computer.

I was so thankful that Chad chose not to teach Sunday school this morning and we combined our class with our neighbor class, as we do from time to time when one of the teachers is sick or out of town. It takes Chad two hours to prepare his lesson and that time was redirected to our relationship instead.

Now I don't want to paint some picture of marrital disrepair, but I am learning that a marriage ebbs and flows. Time marches on and we are continually molded to be either more like Christ or less like Him. As that happens, a husband and wife must continually touch base and reconnect or they simply drift apart. It is encouraging to me to hear from mentor couples who tell me similar stories of having to learn each other anew after having children.

Marriage is a constant work in progress (as am I!). I'd like to think that we will one day "arrive" and have this perfect blissful marriage, but the reality is that we never will. We are human and sinful by nature. I know that I will put my foot in my mouth countless times before this week even ends. I also know there will be decisions I make before consulting Chad or, more importantly, consulting Christ.

Chad was somewhat dejected when we first talked Saturday night, but I told him I was actually encouraged. Just the fact that we were discussing the challenges and seeking to make course corrections indicated that we are both still very much in love and that we seek to enter eternity as husband and wife.

Marriage is such a richly rewarding aspect of life but is also so very complicated. I could not imagine life without Chad or our three beautiful children. Despite the challenges that do arise, I am so very thankful for these blessings. We are going to work very hard to carve out "mommy and daddy time" each week now. That may be an actual date (where we leave the house and everything!) or it may be a board game or some very awesome snuggle time. Whatever it is, I will enjoy it because I will be having some much needed quality time with my sweetheart. And there's nothing shabby about that!