Leaning on Christ

You are never really certain of how much you trust Jesus until you enter a time of crisis. It is in the moments of first learning of your dilemma that you either trust that Christ will give you the strength to make it to the other side or you crumble and fall in your own failing human strength.

I am not what I would call a "prayer warrior." I reserve that term for mentors who have been seeking God much longer than I have been living. I do, however, seek to speak with God on a daily basis, try to read His word at least a few times per week (I ever reach for the goal of daily reading), and I find that I call out to Him more and more as situations arise.

Today was another test. A phone call came and I had a choice to make. Trust God or weep and wail at the "what ifs" that are sailing around me.

I had my first mammogram on Monday. No big deal. Honestly, nursing three newborn babies was much more painful. I was advised that I would get the results in a few days. My doctor's office called earlier today. I missed the nurse, she asked me to call her back. I left a message. Then I missed her when she called again. Then I had to leave another message. I was beginning to get suspicious as to why they had not left the results with Chad, who is authorized to talk with them. Finally, I spoke with the nurse. And I got a message I was not expecting.

There is a calcification cluster on my right breast. Since this was my first test, they have no baseline to compare it to. So they have to get a better look. I return on Monday for magnification views and an ultrasound.

I won't lie. I teared up after I hung up. A few tears still fall when I ponder too long on the unknown. Your prayers are very much coveted. Please pray that I will stay in the arms of my comforting Savior. Pray that the results come back negative for cancer. Above all, pray that God is glorified no matter the outcome.

"May your unfailing love be my comfort, according to your promise to your servant." Psalm 119:76